Title: Should I Step Away Despite Burnout and Depression with $18 Million in Liquidity?
I’m grateful to have found this community. It’s offered more guidance than many professionals I’ve seen, and I’ve completed the verification process to seek real, constructive help as I navigate this.
I know this will be lengthy, and I appreciate your time.
A brief backstory to set the stage
Phase 1: Doctoral studies and early ventures
– I built my first laboratory, recruited friends, and invested in two additional labs.
– I logged roughly 100 hours per week, rarely saw my family, and am now divorced from my college sweetheart.
– My lifestyle was extreme and unhealthy: daily Vyvanse, up to 10 cups of coffee, Ambien at night, and constant travel to present at conferences and pitch to investors.
– I caught COVID twice during this period and continued working remotely at the same pace.
Phase 2: Financial milestone
– I sold my first business for $18 million, which I’ve kept in Fidelity where it continues to yield returns.
Phase 3: New leadership role and another health crisis
– I joined a second lab as CEO and head of product development, partly-owned by me.
– After surviving consecutive COVID infections, my health deteriorated severely, culminating in an ICU admission.
– Upon discharge, I returned to the same 100-hour workweeks despite the warning signs.
Current health and work status
– I’ve experienced a significant crash—chronic fatigue and other long-COVID symptoms.
– I’ve taken extended time off, but now I’m facing a return-to-work decision with mounting pressure.
The present dilemma
- I hired all the founding staff for the second business, which is in the pre-launch phase. I’m known as the visionary who conceived the patents, secured investors, and built the team.
- We have valuable patents and a substantial inventory, with the option to sell IP and inventory if needed. However, I’m haunted by the thought of letting the staff down who believed in me and have worked hard toward this launch.
- Managing the next fundraising round and bringing the product to market while coping with long COVID feels overwhelming.
- The staff have carried the company in my absence. They are Ivy League graduates with families who dedicated their futures to me when I was in my 20s—now the weight of responsibility feels crushing.
- I promised a return by March. They want to pursue a new round of funding, but I’m tempted to cash out the assets instead, given the favorable cap sheet. Yet I fear abandoning them.
Considerations at this crossroads
– Is hiring a CEO the right move? I’ve seen what can go wrong when hiring top executives who then don’t align with the company’s needs, especially after years of experience hiring and managing such leaders.
– I’ve had to manage executives myself, which adds to the emotional and mental load. Even interviewing and evaluating candidates is exhausting.
– I’m torn between selling IP and moving on, versus staying to see the project through. The team deserves leadership, but I’m unsure I have the energy to sustain it.
– The ethical and emotional burden of leaving behind a team that believes in me is immense. I’m worried about the impact on them and on my own sense of integrity.
Current financial snapshot
– Net worth in liquid assets: approximately $18 million (safe Fidelity fund) from the first business.
– Business 2: Pre-launch with patents and inventory; potential sale estimates range from $10–20 million, with inventory alone valued at around $8 million.
– Business 3: Current stake valued at about $1 million (not for sale at this time).
Queries and reflections
– Has anyone sold patents and moved on when faced with burnout and guilt about leaving a dedicated team?
– Is $18 million sufficient for a woman planning to have two children in high-cost cities like NYC or San Francisco? Could it sustain a livable life without ongoing active work?
– Have others sold when burnout makes continuing untenable, while carrying genuine guilt about leaving colleagues and a mission?
Personal note
I recognize how this may sound heavy or indulgent, but I’m seeking perspectives from people who have faced similar crossroads—balancing health, responsibility, and the burden of leadership. I’m grateful for any constructive input, and I share this with a sincere intention to make the right, ethical decision for my well-being and the people who depend on me.
Thank you for listening and for any guidance you can offer.
Sincerely,
S.
